Duocam
by BobisLove
Summary: Duo got a hold of a video camera. Will anyone survive? He goes around and plays pranks on his fellow pilots, recording them and eventually their reactions. Updated at last! -Story is now complete-
1. Wufei

¬Chapter 1/10

**­****Chapter 1/10**

Fuzzy static, then zoom out from black to Duo Maxwell. He's smiling that Shinigami smirk of his that could send Godzilla running in fear. There is a digital clock in the shot. The time reads 11:00pm

"Hello. My name's Duo, Duo Maxwell. You may have heard of me: Gundam pilot 02, wanted on Earth and all the colonies?"

He stands, seemingly waiting for a response. Not receiving one, he frowns and continues.

"Well, maybe not…anyway, welcome to my world. You are witnessing the first ever Duo cam. I'm gonna bring you the inside scoop about us Gundam pilots, and our extra interesting lives. Actually, my life isn't so interesting just now, cause the guys seem to be ignoring me. So the first edition of Duo cam is henceforth entitled; How to exact revenge. My way. Mwa ha ha ha, (insert Shinigami laugh here), be afraid guys, be very afraid."

Duo walks towards the camera and picks it up so we can't see him anymore.

"Well, here we go!" he chirps.

Duo starts walking out of his room, carefully avoiding the clothes that are strewn strategically around, the piles of mangas and the few CD's that he owns. At the door he stops and makes a sweep of the area with the camera. It's rather small and the floor is hard to see under all Duo's stuff but from what little carpet is visible, you would guess it was blue. There's a twin bed in the corner situated under a small window with a couple of trees right outside. It looks like a stormy night. A table near the bed is full of framed pictures of people, the walls have been decorated with the posters he hauls around to every safe house and opposite the bed is a dartboard with some newspaper clippings of Treize, Zechs, and a couple pictures of Wufei. There are lots of holes in them.

"This room's mine. We're staying in one of the nicer safe houses so far…I think it's too big, but it doesn't matter, I got the smallest room anyway," Duo comments rather dryly, giving the room one last sweep with the camera before turning.

He exits the room and walks into a narrow hallway, with some windows and closed doors on either side; the windows are streaked with rain.

"Here we go…let me see, who should we visit first?"

Camera shakes a bit as Duo chuckles evilly, swooping around the hallway, glancing at the closed doors.

"Choices, choices…well, looks like Wufei's room is closest…sorry Fei-chan," Duo smirks, not sounding sorry at all.

Duo walks towards a door with a sign that reads, 'Do Not Enter. This Means You, Maxwell. Wufei.'

"Aww, that hurts Fei-chan," says Duo, not bothering to restrain a smile.

Duo opens the door a little, silently. He waits a couple seconds then peeks around the corner. Duo can barley contain the slightly manic giggle that bubbles up at the sight that greets him. Wufei is apparently asleep, lying on his back on the top-cover of his bed, sword on the other side of the room. Duo is VERY relived at this. He didn't really care for that sword, and neither did his braid. Wufei had his headphones on and was obviously listening to something.

'Probably classical,' Duo thought.

"Well, well, look what we have here…" whispered Duo, taking great care not to wake Wufei.

"This is almost too easy," he muttered, shaking his head in mock sorrow, causing the camera swish around. He creeps into the room, giving the bed a wide berth.

Duo looks around with the camera, giving the viewers a nice shot of the room and Wufei.

"White walls, white carpet…geez Wuffers, you really ARE boring, aren't you? Well, never fear! Here I come to save you, nay, the WORLD from boredom!" Whispered Duo, placing the camera gently on the pristine white carpet before striking a super hero pose.

Duo's feet exit the room silently and returning a second later, softly dropping two cans of something on the floor before picking up the camera once again.

"Don't worry, Wu-man, I'm gonna brighten this room right up!" Said Duo, laughing quietly, swinging the camera back over to Wufei, who was sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware of the intruder standing not five feet away from him, camera and paintbrush in hand.

Duo snickered silently once more, reaching for the camera.

The view changes as it is carefully placed on a shelf where the entire room, including Duo, can be seen. Duo walks back over to where he put the two cans down, swinging the paintbrush slightly. He opens the first can of paint that he had been keeping under his bed for just such an occasion. Dipping the brush in, Duo stirs it around while he looks for a good place to start. He finally shrugs and lifts the paintbrush out; careful not to spill any on the floor, and starts splashing the neon green paint where ever the brush decides to go. When he is satisfied that this color has been adequately applied to all the wrong places, he opens the other can and drops the brush in without cleaning it. Duo stirs up the paint again, and takes out the brush when it is full of bright pink paint, which manages to clash with the green exactly. He covers most of the rest of the room, then as a finishing touch liberally drips flecks of pink paint all over Wufei's white shirt and pants, smiling manically all the while.

"Well, that should do it, I think," whispers Duo, dropping the paintbrush back into the green and looking around to make sure he hadn't missed anything.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget?" He muttered, smiling, picking the paintbrush up once more.

In big, green letters he spells out, 'Duo Was Here,' right above wufei's bed.

"There," said Duo, a satisfied smile gracing his lips as he surveys his handiwork for a second, before dropping the brush again and turning away.

"Now for the clock," muttered Duo, reaching for Wufei's digital alarm clock, and, finding the reset button, quickly makes it twelve noon. Doing some simple calculations in his head he sets the alarm, which should have the delightful effect of waking Wufei up, loudly, at 2:00 in the morning.

Duo then proceeds to Wufei's desk, where his laptop sits unobtrusively. He lifts the cover and calmly brings up the background, deleting it and downloading one he had saved on a thumb drive in his pocket, the one of Nataku, painted pink and holding a parasol. He'd spent many a sleepless night photoshoping that particular picture. He closes the computer once more.

Duo wasn't quite done yet, though.

His trusty super glue in hand, (he always carried it with him,) he opened a drawer in Fei-chan's desk. He spread the glue all around the edges, and then silently slid it shut. He repeated the process with the rest of the drawers in the desk, and went on to glue all the drawers in Wufei's room.

"There, that oughta do it," stated Duo, his gaze sliding over Wufei once more, to make sure he was still asleep.

Duo picks up the paint cans and leaves, returning shortly for the camera. He disappears behind it once more and retreats quietly out of the room.

"You really shouldn't leave your door unlocked, Wu…no good can come of it," Duo mummers as a kind of apology, before moving gleefully on to his next victim.


	2. Trowa

Chapter 2/10

**Chapter 2/10**

Duo shut Wufei's door with a soft click, and looks at his watch.

"Hm, its only 12:00, still early. That's good, there's still a lot to do," he murmurs evilly, glancing at the three doors he had not yet opened.

"Who's next?"

The camera swoops from the first door to the second and on to the third. A darkly gleeful laugh is heard and quickly silenced.

"Well, I guess I'll do it the way I make all my decisions," stated Duo decisively, beginning to swish the camera around once more.

"Ennie meannie minnie mo,"

At 'mo' the camera lands on Trowa's door.

"Well Trowa it's your lucky day."

Duo swiftly walks to Trowa's room. After a moment or two of fruitless attempts, the door remains closed. Putting the camera down Duo steps back, hands on hips, and contemplates the door.

"Trowa's smarter then he looks, or at least smarter then Wufei. Not that that's a big surprise…kinda rude to lock his door though. What if there was a fire? Oh, now that's an idea…but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow." During his monologue Duo had extracted a lock picking kit from his braid, and was working with expert ease on Trowa's door. A soft click is heard a moment later.

"I've still got it," exclaims Duo contentedly, pushing the door gently open and glancing around.

Duo slips the picks back into the depths of his braid, and then flips his hair over his shoulder. He looks carefully into the darkness, wondering if Trowa was asleep.

'He isn't the type to set traps…' reflected Duo, straining to see the bed, to make sure his prey was having a lie-down. Wufei had been easy, but he wasn't sure Tro-chan was as trusting. He quieted his breathing for a moment, trying to hear Trowa. A soft snore from the direction of the bed calmed Duo considerably.

"Now, on with the fun!" snickered Duo, eyes lighting up in a frighteningly impish manner.

He picks up the camera again and slinks quietly into the dark room, carefully avoiding anything on the floor, still wary of this unfamiliar territory. He gaze darts around the room, taking everything in. He smiles as he notices the all the wonderful possibilities this room had to offer. Sky blue walls and ceiling, soft white carpet, a ceiling fan, (turned off), knick knacks that had been there when they moved in scattered around the room, some framed pictures of the G-boys hung on the wall and a desk with some papers and a laptop.

"Well we're burning moonlight, better get to work," exclaimed Duo, fidgeting a bit, anxious to be done.

He places the camera on the desk beside the computer, then turns happily to his job.

"So much to do, so little time," sighed Duo, looking around, shaking his head helplessly.

He is extra quiet as he creeps around, as Trowa is not wearing headphones. He begins with the fan, leaving the room swiftly and returning with a large bag. Out of this he takes a water balloon that has been filled with some of the remaining pink paint and puts a tiny drop of super glue on the bottom, securing this to one of the fan blades. He does the same to all four blades, using different color paint each time. (Pink, green, bright red and an extremely ugly yellow.)

"Now folks," whispers Duo, turning and glancing into the camera.

"This is a fun trick. The thing is, when the fan is turned on, the balloons will stay stuck for a while because of the glue, but as soon as the fan reaches a certain speed they'll fly off and burst against the wall, or whatever they happen to hit.

An evil chuckle.

"Moving on," he turns.

Duo quickly drops the now empty bag next to the camera and continues with his mischief.

He takes a screwdriver from his pocket and loosens all the screws holding the chair together, but leaving them in place so the chair doesn't fall apart. Duo carefully arranges the chair in such a way that it is unnecessary to move it to sit down. It would collapse the minute someone sat. He looks over to Trowa's bed and sees a paper drinking cup on the bedside table. His eyes gleam dangerously.

"'Scuse me Tro," mummers Duo, snatching up the cup.

Duo retreats to the hall momentarily and cuts the bottom out of the paper cup. Then he takes his super glue and puts 3 dots on the bottom, putting both pieces back together carefully, so they would come undone when handled roughly. He sneaks back into the room and gently places the cup back on its table. Now when Trowa wanted a drink, its bottom would come out and something would get wet.

Duo retreats a few feet from the bed.

"Hm, anything else? Ah! Of course," added Duo, running back to his room for a second.

He comes back with a 200 pack of already sharpened pencils. He balances preciously on the edge of Trowa's bed, not even making a dent on the mattress, and flicks the pencils with unerring accuracy into the pliable ceiling, right above Tro's bed. He eventually spells a sentence. 'Duo was here.' He runs out of pencils and backs off, smiling.

"My calling card," declared Duo, sighing in contentment.

He leaves the room, pausing to change the pictures on the wall from group shots of them and their Gundams to pictures of himself in various mocking positions, (tongue sticking out, turning his nose up, a particularly artistic one with his eyelids turned inside-out, etc.). He grabbed the discarded bag and the camera on his way out.

He clicks the door shut and locks it quietly then pauses a moment in the hall.

"Goodnight sweet prince, may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest," snickers Duo, backing away from the door.

"Trowa's gonna be mad tomorrow," smiled Duo, turning on his heel.

He glances quickly at his watch. 12:45.

"Hm, still got the whole night ahead of me. Who's next? Maybe I'll stop at the kitchen for a midnight snack…Heh. There are some definite possibilities there…" Duo smirks in the darkness.

He looks over at the two remaining doors.

"Watch out guys, Death's coming for ya, but I might wanna eat first…"


	3. Kitchen

Chapter 3/10

**Chapter 3/10**

Duo looked warily at the doors whilst he retreated down the darkened hall towards the kitchen. The rain still beat relentlessly at the windows.

'Maybe I'm going a little too far with these pranks,' thought Duo, looking to the doors he had already entered.

'Nah, I can run pretty fast. Nothin' to worry about,' Duo decided, shrugging carelessly.

He was Death after all.

"And here we see the kitchen," introduced Duo, sweeping the camera around the room, taking in the linoleum gleaming in the moonlight, cabinets stacked to the ceiling, counters that run across the whole room, a large sink sunken into the counter, the dully gleaming oven and the hulking fridge slumped into the corner, just a dark shadow that looked as though it was about to pounce.

"Warm and cozy isn't it?" muttered Duo, eyeing the fridge in particular.

"Hmm, what to eat, what to eat," he grinned, stalking to the refrigerator. Duo hesitated a second before opening it.

He put the camera on the counter and grabs some food from the dimly lit depths of the cold, frosted metal box.

Duo turns to the camera, holding a can of Pepsi, which he was shaking furiously.

"I'm being totally dumb about the fridge thing, it's just some lingering caution about a prank that…back-fired…on me a couple months ago. I, um, kinda fixed the thing so it would fire eggs at the person who opened it next and, uh, I forgot that it was my turn to make dinner. Still haven't lived it down completely…oh well. It won't happen again, believe me." He smirked dangerously as he stilled the hand with the pop can. He replaced it in the fridge and grabbed another.

Duo shook every other pop can, leaving some untouched. He pulled out a non-shaken one.

It looked like Duo had decided on a chili cheese dog. On the spotless counter he had hotdogs, hot sauce, chili, cheese, and onions.

"Now folks, here we have one of the most useful things in the world. Extra hot chili pepper sauce. Double X. It has a 'caution, extremely hot' warning on it and everything."

Duo holds up the bottle, showing the camera the warning.

"What I will be doing with this is simple. Even tiny amounts of this stuff will burn your taste buds right off, so it's okay if I dilute it. That is one of its most useful properties." Duo drawls nonchalantly as he turns back to the refrigerator.

Duo takes out the milk and pours some of the hot sauce in it. He repeats this with all the liquids in the kitchen.

"Now for the real genius of this prank," states Duo, winking at the camera. He heads to the sink and opens the cupboards beneath it, unscrewing something from all the pipes that crisscrossed under it.

"I have just dismembered the sink. It will now be unable to produce any water, no matter how much the guys scream." Duo's eyes gleamed dangerously.

"Oh, one more thing," announced Duo, pocketing the piece of pipe. From his other pocket he produced a pad of post-its, already written on. Duo then commenced sticking the notes on everything in sight. On the fridge he put one that said, 'this is a fridge.' In the toaster he said, 'insert toast here,' etc. Soon almost every clean surface was covered.

Duo quickly concocted a large chili dog with everything on it and then practically inhaled it.

"That about does it for the kitchen, I think…" mused Duo, licking his lips. He tossed the now empty bottle of hot sauce in the recycling and his crushed pop can quickly followed.

Duo smiles at the camera, walking slowly toward it.

"Come my pretties, we have more work to do."

Duo swoops up the camera and exits the kitchen, unscrewing the salt shaker lid on his way out.

He glanced down the hall, rain still pouring down the darkened windows.

"Well, we've still got two victims…let's make this memorable, shall we?"

The camera shakes as Duo lets loose an evil laugh, and thunder booms theatrically in the distance.


	4. Heero

Chapter 4/10

**Chapter 4/10**

Duo considered the two remaining doors carefully. There was a greenish light coming from the space under Heero's door.

"What could Hee-chan be doing so late?" Duo wondered, sliding closer to the door.

He gently tries the door, and it clicks softly as he succeeds in opening it.

"Wow, Heero leaves his door unlocked. I'll have to remember that," Duo muttered, looking carefully around the room.

The room is very dark, lit only by the laptop on the desk which is opened and turned on. Duo smiles venomously at it, and slinks over to the desk silently. He puts the camera down and takes out the thumb drive he had in his pocket, (the one he used on Wufei's computer), and begins his work. He deletes all of Heero's shortcut icons and uploads the backdrop he made especially for Heero, with all the shortcut icons he usually has as a pattern. It looked exactly like the old screen, except you couldn't click on anything. Hours of frustration _right _there.

"Heero hates it when I mess with his stuff. I'm gonna have to lock his door when I leave, probably from the outside," Duo murmured, frowning a bit.

He looks around Heero's room, trying to find more mischief to inflict upon his unwary victim. Heero's room was small, and very cubical. There is just one small window in the corner, away from the bed. Everything looks drab and grey because of the darkness, but it wouldn't change much even in the light because Heero's room was pretty boring. The walls were bare and the compact grey computer was the only ornament in the room. Heero was sleeping peacefully, a word not usually associated with Heero, on the small cramped bed in the corner. He was on his back, not moving at all, situated perfectly in the middle of the bed. The blankets were barely even rumpled.

"Hm. Mister Perfect," declared Duo, crossing his arms.

"Anyway, back to business."

With that Duo turns to the closet and quietly slides open the doors, disappearing into the darkness within. He comes out with his arms full of black spandex shorts, tank tops, some jeans and a jacket. In short, all of Heero's clothes. Ever so silently he exits the room and returns empty handed. Duo comes close to the camera.

"I just threw all of Heero's clothes out Wufei's window. Wufei's window faces the lake. I'll leave you to think about that," concludes Duo, grinning triumphantly.

Duo then takes out his super glue. He creeps over to Heero's bed and carefully grabs hold of the edge of the sheet. He glues the sheet tight to the mattress, leaving only a small amount of space for Heero's head and neck. He does the same to the comforter, and then even more cautiously to the pillow.

"Looks like Heero's gonna sleep in tomorrow, whether he wants to or not. Guess I won't have to lock the door," Duo mutters.

Next Duo snags a chair from the desk and on the ceiling he carefully writes over the bed in red permanent marker, (he has lots of pocket space), 'I'm under the bed.' He makes the writing look drippy and evil. Duo replaces the chair and takes out his glue again and commences to glue all the furniture in the room to the floor, but at 30 degree angles so everything is tilted crazily. Then he glues the laptop to the desk.

"Well, I think my work here is done," declared Duo, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

He grabs the camera and turns towards the door, taking a small MP3 player out of his pocket. He sets this on the ground and puts it on a timed start. It would start playing, (loudly,) at exactly 2:00 am, right when Wufei's alarm clock went off. It would repeat, 'It's a Small World After All,' over and over and over…

"Heero's gonna kill me," laughed Duo, smiling as he closed the door behind him, which left only one door to go…


	5. Quatre

Chapter 5/10

**Chapter 5/10**

Duo spared a moment of remorse for Quatre, but then the moment passed and he jimmied open the lock on his door.

"And so the story continues…" whispered Duo, sliding easily into the darkness.

Quatre's room is really big, with those dark hidden bits that seem to jump out at you out of the corner of your eyes, so Quatre has solved this problem by installing a night-light in the shape of an angel, or something cutesy like that. Once Duo's eyes become accustomed to the light he entered slowly, walking on the balls of his feet. He spares a glance at Quatre's four poster bed, but dismisses the occupant quickly. He knows Quatre is a heavy sleeper.

Setting the camera on the desk Duo gets to work once more.

"You're a great guy, Quatre, but you have to expect stuff like this when you let me in the house," murmured Duo, picking up Quatre's alarm clock. He quickly pressed the re-set button so the numbers flashed midnight. Or noon, Duo wasn't sure.

Duo goes to every clock in the room and resets all the times differently, then he breaks out his caution tape and ropes off the bed, with about 20 layers of tape at about ankle height.

Duo whips out his sticky-notepad and scribbles a quick note. He puts it where Quatre should see it when he falls as he tries to get out of bed.

Next Duo went to the closet and slid the doors open quietly. Quatre had a pretty nice walk in closet, and more clothes then anyone needed. Duo took out his heavy duty note book and started writing.

'I have 100 in my back pocket. Come and get it,' 'I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now,' 'Why are all the sheep afraid of me,' etc. and taped the signs onto the back of Quatre's many shirts. Then he took out his scissors and cut some strategic holes in Q-man's pants, shirts and socks, but not before he had removed every left sock from the closet. The left socks were all then carefully glued to the wall behind Quatre's bed so that they formed the words;

'The duck flies at 2:00am. MWA HA HA HA HA!'

"Now the finale. I've been saving this for a while."

Duo made a quick trip back to his room and returned carrying something. It was shaped like a person, taller then him with shorter hair. It was a mannequin which kind of resembled lady Une. It even had a wig with its hair in two buns like she did, and glasses. Duo fixed the dummy so that it was stretched out over the top of the four poster bed, glaring down at Quatre menacingly.

Then Duo caution taped all around the four posters so Quatre would have a hard time getting out, and he made sure the dummy was loose enough that only a little jarring would knock it down, most likely onto a struggling Quatre.

"Heh heh heh. This is gonna be great," snickered Duo, glancing fleetingly at his watch. It was almost one 'o'clock, so he had a little less then an hour left before the real fun started.

"Better wrap this up then," Duo stated, grinning triumphantly as he looked at the Une dummy again.

"This isn't something I wanna miss."

With that Duo picked up the camera and exited the room, switching the night-light before he went from the cute angel to a mini Deathscyth, and closing the door behind him. He headed to their security room, where all of Quatre's surveillance equipment was kept. Duo cracked his knuckles and went to work once more.


	6. Ready

Chapter 6/10

**Chapter 6/10**

Duo cracked his knuckles and got to work. First of all he erased all the footage of him in the other guy's rooms. You know, getting rid of all the incriminating evidence. Second he put the erased tapes back in and set them to start recording at 1:59am. Never know when tapes like these can be useful. Thirdly, he linked the security cameras to his laptop so he could stream the live footage there and see all the action from a safe place, while recording a back-up of it all on his camera. Lastly Duo fiddled with the alarm system so that it would go off at 2:00 along with everything else, but instead of the usual alarm it would play 70's disco music at very high volume, and would produce a kind of strobe light disco ball effect that Duo rigged especially for tonight, all throughout the house.

"The moment of truth approaches, folks, and only the strong will survive," said Duo gleefully.

The clock reads 1:49am.

"I'd better find a safe place to wait this out. See you when the action starts!" Duo states, reaching over to shut off the camera.

-click-

static

-Black screen-


	7. Set

Chapter 7/10

**Chapter 7/10**

static

camera flickers on and we see Duo, sitting in a swivel chair in front of about eight TV's, one showing the attic stairs (all clear), another showing the attic window and the area surrounding it, (also clear). The rest of the TV's are blank.

Duo glanced at his watch quickly, squinting in the dark. 1:58, just a few minutes to go.

"Well folks," Duo said, smirking.

"The hour is upon us. The cameras will turn on in a few seconds and then the fun begins. I'm joining you, live, from the safe house attic, and I'm about to make history as the first person to completely and thoroughly prank a Gundam pilot. If I survive, of course."

The last part was said mostly under his breath.

"I have pretty much secured the attic, and I've set up my base here. The doors and windows are locked, I've set up surveillance cameras and I've constructed some booby-traps as well. I'm fairly confident about my survival rate up here."

The clock turns to 1:59. Six of the TVs flicker on as the security cameras start taping. The pilot's rooms, with all four terrorists sleeping peacefully, the hallway outside their rooms, and the kitchen. The attic stairs and window are both still clear.

Duo counts down slowly.

"10….9…8…7…6...5…4...3…2…1...And here come the fireworks…" Duo muttered, eyes glued to the screen.

The clock strikes 2:00.

Suddenly disco music starts blasting from seemingly all directions. The bass reverberates from wall to wall and rocks the televisions. Strobe lights flash all around the house, looking like lightning. Piercing through the disco music you can hear high, annoying voices singing 'It's a Small World,' and the shrill, insistent beep of an alarm clock.

Duo cackles evilly and pounds on the table, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes because he's laughing so hard.

On screen Wufei jerks awake looking truly startled. He yanks off his headphones and his eyes widen before quickly narrowing in a pained wince. The music is really loud. In the strobe lights his room flashes neon green and pink every few seconds. Wufei looks very disoriented. He glances sharply around the room trying to find out why it changed color so dramatically, and then he looks up at the ceiling and sees Duo's calling card. His mouth curls into a snarl as he spits out a nasty word that Duo can see but not hear on account of the music. He throws aside his sheets and runs out his bedroom door, not aware that he is covered in neon pink paint.

Trowa doesn't move when he wakes up except for his eyes. They dart around the room taking in the altered pictures on his walls and the pencils stuck in his ceiling and he mouths one word. "Duo." His eyes narrow as he looks around for traps.

"He knows me so well," Duo gasps out, clutching his stomach and laughing at the other pilot's caution.

Trowa rises out of bed slowly, feeling around for any strings that might trigger egg bombs or something similar. He steps carefully to the door and flips on the light switch. The light is connected to the fan and soon its blades are whirling very fast. Trowa realizes his mistake a second too late. He dives under his desk with a startled yelp and accidentally knocks his chair over. It breaks apart imminently and Trowa is let exposed to the paint filled balloons which now fly off the fan and splatter against the walls.

He is covered with red and yellow paint while the pink and green balloons explode over his bed and window. Trowa pokes his head out from under the desk and looks around, then crawls slowly to the door and pushes it open with his foot. Once it's open he quickly dives out of the room and into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

"Heh," Duo chuckles as he watches the other pilot's antics on screen. "Trowa and Wufei are hilarious covered in paint like that. They look madder then wet cats."

A slightly worried look flickers across Duo's face.

"I think I'll just check and make sure that the doors locked…"


	8. Go

Chapter 8/10

**Chapter 8/10**

Duo settles back down in his chair.

"The door is as secure as I can make it," he sighs.

"Now let's see how everyone's getting along…"

On screen Heero wakes up suddenly. The first thing he sees, other then the flashing lights, is the ceiling. He doesn't say anything, but his eyes narrow and it looks like he growls a little. Heero tries to sit up and get out of bed but he can't. His eyes widen somewhat as his arms and legs flail around uselessly under the blankets, trying to push the covers aside.

"That won't work Hee-chan," Duo chuckles dangerously as he addresses the screen.

"This super-glue NEVER comes un-stuck. You might as well get comfortable."

Heero stops struggling after a few more vicious jerks at the covers. The disco music isn't so loud in his room but only because it's being drowned out by 'It's a Small World', which is blaring from the MP3 player near Heero's door. He closes his eyes and starts banging his head against his pillow.

Duo comes dangerously close to tipping his chair over as he throws his head back and laughs.

"Maybe…Ha ha ha…maybe I went to hard on Hee…heh heh…Heero," Duo gasps, almost choking on his laughter.

Quatre wakes up slowly, despite the loud music and flashing lights. As he opens his eyes the first thing to enter his line of sight is the mannequin which strangely resembles Lady Une and looks like it is suspended in the air above him because it is currently perched on the top of his four-poster bed. Quatre lets out a startled yell and backs up towards his headboard. This movement shakes the bed, and the dummy, being only loosely tied to the top of the canopy, immediately falls on top of Quatre. He struggles with it but that only gets him tangled up more. He finally pushes the thing away with his legs and attempts to jump out of bed. This happens to be a bad idea because of the caution tape that is wrapped all around the four posters from top to bottom. Not wanting to be trapped with the dummy, Quatre claws through the caution tape and steps quickly out of the bed. As soon as he is free he trips on another trail of yellow tape that is inconveniently wrapped around the bed at ankle height. From his new vantage point on the floor Quatre spots a well placed note.

'Have a nice trip, see you next fall! Duo'

Quatre's mouth compresses into a thin line before he opens it wide and lets out a few choice epitaphs concerning Duo's parentage.

"Wow, I didn't know Q-man even _knew_ that word!" Duo reflected approvingly, smirking at the screen.

"I'm glad I'm getting this on tape or no one would believe me."

On screen Quatre has gotten up and is out the door. Wufei and Trowa are already in the hall and are moving towards him.

"What happened to you guys?!" Quatre yelled over the pounding disco beat, gesturing to the pilot's paint splattered clothes.

"I woke up like this!" Wufei replied, equally loud.

"I activated a trap by accident," Answered Trowa, struggling to be heard above the music.

"Hey, has anyone seen Heero yet?" Quatre questions worriedly.

Everyone shakes their heads in the negative.

"Maybe he's still in his room," Wufei says doubtfully, glancing at Heero's door.

"Only one way to find out," Trowa states calmly, starting for the door.

The three pilots head for Heero's door with Trowa in the lead. When they get there he motions for the other two to get against the wall on the far side of the door while he stands on the opposite side. He counts, "One…two…three," and throws the door open on three. When nothing falls down on them or explodes they peek around the corner of the doorframe into the room. Heero is attempting to muffle himself with his pillow.

"Heero..?" Quatre calls out above the tape player.

Heero's eyes shoot open and his head snaps towards the doorway.

"TURN OFF THE MUSIC!!" Heero yells franticly to the three speechless pilots.

"Heero, are you alright?" Quatre continues, moving towards the bed.

"Just turn it off..! Please!" Heero pleads, shutting his eyes tightly and letting his head drop onto the pillow once more.

Wufei picked up the MP3 player and clicked it off.

Heero let out a sigh of relief.

"Heero, why didn't you turn it off yourself?" Quatre asked, a puzzled expression on his face.

Heero mumbled something too quietly for the other pilots to hear.

"What Heero? I didn't understand that." Quatre sayed.

"I said, I'm glued to the bed." Heero snapped, his face turning a little red at the admission.

"Don't stand there giggling damn it, get me out of here!!" Heero demanded, as the other pilots dissolved into laughter.

"Well the gangs all here," Duo said as he stretched and yawned.

"And they look pretty pissed. I wonder if I should be worried…"


	9. Advance

Chapter 9/10

**Chapter 9/10**

Duo leans forward in his chair. His eyes are glued to the TV screen.

"The guys are pretty smart, they short circuited all the electrical fuses in the house. Wufei got a nasty shock, but the disco music and the strobe light are turned off. Too bad, it was just getting to my favorite song. Anyway, everybody's headed for the kitchen now. I guess they're looking for me. Best of luck guys," Duo said, saluting the screen and smirking as the other pilots head towards the kitchen.

Duo leans back in his chair, stretching out his arms and cracking his knuckles.

"I hope nobody tries to have a glass of water," Duo yawned, smiling at the camera. "It might not turn out so well."

On screen, the pilots have made it to the kitchen and are all standing just outside the door, seemingly afraid to enter the room. They appear to be arguing about who should go in first.

"Geez, I'm flattered," Duo stated sincerely. "I didn't think they were _that_ scared of me."

The pilots seem to have decided Wufei would enter the kitchen first, or rather; the other pilots grab his arms and shove him forward onto the linoleum tiles where he stumbles to an abrupt stop, drawing his arms and legs close to his body, making himself as small a target as he can. After a moment of terse silence Wufei opens his eyes and loosens his stance, glancing around quickly, trying to determine any obvious threats.

The first (and second, and third…) thing he sees is a post-it note. They're everywhere. Wufei growls and tears a handful of the yellow sticky notes off the wall. He motions the other pilots forward and they enter the kitchen cautiously. Trowa hangs back. They carefully remove the sticky notes from the walls, etc. Quatre checks the fridge, throwing it open while standing to the side, remembering Duo's unfortunate egg catapult experience.

"The fridge's clear," Quatre declared, still holding the door open and peering into it.

"Good, I'm thirsty," said Wufei, grabbing a can of Pepsi and popping the tab.

"No!! Don't!!" The other pilots yell in unison as Wufei opens the can.

KABOOOOM!

On screen the pilots stand very still, all dripping soda on the floor.

"Ha ha ha ha, I can't believe Wuffers fell for that," Duo gasped, clutching his stomach. "That was such an obvious one!"

"Wufei, shaken soda cans is such an obvious trick. How did you fall for that? You should know not to go for any carbonated beverages for at least a week after one of Duo's Prank wars," Heero said scornfully. "You should have tried some juice if you were thirsty."

Heero poured himself a glass of grape juice and drank it down quickly. He shot a smug look at Wufei which quickly changed to a look of pained panic. He runs to the sink and turns the cold water tap on, his panicked look going up a notch when water fails to appear.

"Heero, what's wrong?" Quatre questioned, looking worried.

Heero doesn't speak, just sticks out his tongue and tries to fan it with his hands. Quatre understands his gestures and runs to the cupboard, grabs some crackers and tosses them to Heero.

"Here, eat these quick. It'll help with the burning," Quatre insists.

Heero rips open the package and shoves a handful into his mouth. After some frantic chewing he slows down and looks relieved. He examines the cracker box and peels off the sticky note labeling it 'crackers.' He crumples the note in a clenched fist.

"As soon as we find Duo…he's going grocery shopping," Heero stated intensely, as the crushed note dropped from his hand.

The other pilots look at Heero and step back as one."

"Hm, Heero looks kinda broody," Duo said, looking thoughtfully at the screen showing the kitchen. "I think it's time to set my escape plan into motion."

Duo pushes a few buttons on his computer then stands, chair rolling away from his legs as he pushes away from the desk. He strolls over to the attic window, pushes it open very slowly and looks around. Duo grabs a rope from a side table and deftly ties it off on a beam in the ceiling, then throws the rope out the window.

Duo then turns away from the window and climbs up on the desk, takes the cover off a vent opening in the ceiling and scrambles into the vent, replacing the cover as he goes.

"We've checked everywhere. Duo must have left," sighed Quatre, wondering if it was worth cleaning up the safe-house or if they could just burn it down, which would be considerably easier.

"What about the attic?" Asked Trowa.

The pilots, led by a murderous looking Heero, thunder up the stairs. When they are half way up the stairwell there is a sudden hissing noise and the pilots are abruptly covered in silly-string, which seems to be raining down on them from all sides, wrapping them from head to toe in pastel colored plastic string. Startled, Quatre trips up the stairs, falling into a surprised Trowa, who in turn topples into Wufei who then crashes into Heero.

"Itai! Get off me you baka!" Demanded Heero, aiming a vicious kick at Wufei.

"Save your aggression for the braided fiend who caused all this!" Spat Wufei, avoiding Heero's kick.

Struggling to his feet, Wufei frees himself of the other pilots and clamors over Heero to the attic door. He throws it open wide which tightens some strings tied to the door. The strings run up behind the door into a grate in the ceiling connected to several buckets of water hidden from view. They spill their contents through the grate, all over Wufei. The water then flows down the stairs, drenching the other pilots who are still in a tangled heap on the stairs.

"Maxwell! Get out here and face me, you coward!" Wufei shouted, looking around the small room.

Wufei runs toward the open window, looking down at the lawn on the North side of the safe-house. Heero joins him, straining to see if Duo left any trail. Trowa and Quatre move over to the bank of video monitors which are now showing their night in a continuous loop, each screen showing a different room and a different pilot as he woke up, continuing on to their joint venture in the kitchen and finally their exploits on the stairs outside the attic.

"This is kinda funny," Quatre muttered, looking at the monitor showing Wufei's room, the corner of his mouth turning up in a crooked grin.

"Yeah, I guess," relented Trowa, watching the screen where Heero struggled to free himself from his super-glued blankets.

"Come on," said Wufei. "I think I see Maxwell in those trees. He's probably headed for his Gundam."

Wufei takes hold of the rope dangling out the window and swings outside, preparing to rappel down the side of the house. The rope, which was apparently tied in a slip knot, comes loose and Wufei disappears from sight as he falls out the window with an undignified shriek.

The other pilots rush to the window to check on Wufei, who has luckily landed in a large patch of bushes and is completely unharmed.


	10. Retreat

Chapter 10/10

**Chapter 10/10**

Fuzzy static, then zoom out from black to Duo Maxwell.

"Hello everyone. It's been a fun filled night for all, hasn't it? Well, maybe not for the guys back at the safe-house, but hey, gotta keep 'em on their toes, right?"

Duo seems to have addressed his last question to something off to the right, beyond the camera's field of vision. He pans the camera right, perhaps for a response. A giant mechanical foot is now visible, and the camera gradually moves up to find the robot's head.

"I think the funs over though, buddy," said Duo. "We've got a mission to clear up, and the guys need time to cool off. So until next time, loyal viewers, this has been Duo-cam. Signing off."

-click-

static

-Black screen-

The pilots, having untangled Wufei from the bushes, make their way to the clearing where they have hidden their Gundams. Where Deathscythe had been there was now an empty space with a sign posted in the ground. The sign read:

Gone on a mission to destroy OZ weapons storage facility,

Nice seein' everyone again.

Don't go in the basement.

-Duo

"Curse him," muttered Wufei, fists clenched at his sides.

"Don't think of it as defeat, Wufei," suggested Quatre brightly. "Think of it as an opportunity to plan your revenge."

"What does he mean 'don't go in the basement?'" Wondered Trowa.

Heero had already started back for the safe-house.

"Heero, where are you going?" Yelled Quatre.

"To find out where the baka's mission is. I'm going to find him and strangle him with his own braid," vowed Heero.

"I'll help," said Wufei, jogging over to join Heero.

Quatre and Trowa hung back in the clearing, watching the retreating backs of the other pilots.

"Duo might be better off if OZ captures him on this mission," Trowa said.

"Yeah," agreed Quatre with a smirk. "I sure wouldn't want to deal with a pissed off Heero _and_ Wufei. Oh well, lets see if we can find something un-tampered with for breakfast."


End file.
